Boro Pre-Season Roast

Don't know if any of you use Reddit, but their /r/soccer section are doing a "Pre Season Roast" of every team in the Prem, and today its Boro's turn. 

As you can imagine with it being a roast, there is a lot of mud being flung around, and its all mostly in good nature. However, i know there are some sensitive sausages on here, so it's probably best if you stay away if that's the case. 

I like Burnley's:

Turf Moor sounds like an Orc encampment from Lord of the Rings

 

"Looks like relegation's back on the menu boys"

:D

Victor Valdes, Barcelona 2014, Middlesbrough 2016.

That's the biggest fall from grace since Hitler won Man of the Year in 1938.

:)

Victor Valdes, Barcelona 2014, Middlesbrough 2016.

 

That's the biggest fall from grace since Hitler won Man of the Year in 1938.

 

:)

Haha, i had to upvote that one. Genius

Personal highlight is this from a Wycombe fan on the Man Utd thread yesterday

'Every kid who grew up in the UK from the early 90s until very recently, no matter their location, had United fans in their class group. Going on about their trophies and their good players. How they were a special, the Trafford 'More than a Club'.

United fans will accuse City fans and Chelsea fans of being plastic when they were one of the first clubs to hollow out football, corporatise it, sanitise it, turn it into the corporate driven shell it is now where their fans agonise over noodle deals and boast about their financial wealth through Ed Woodward like Trimalchio at his dinner. The hypocrisy of United fans moaning about Man City's atmosphere when 'prawn sandwich brigade' was coined to sum up their iPad-touting, selfie-stick supporters with their Selfridges bags is not unnoticed.

The last few years when winning has been a struggle has seen a kind of martyrdom from their supporters, as if their massive transfer fees not fully working give them some sort of sympathy. All this has done has turned them into slightly more obnoxious ***nal fans. The fact they've allied behind a manager whom had a meltdown live on TV after Steven Davies embarrassed his coterie of Russian-financed matrioshka dolls and a player whose outbursts have made him a meme for pudgy slightly racist 14 year old videogamers show their desperation.'

With a little follow-up from another fan:

'I thought this was supposed to be for fun...'

Personal highlight is this from a Wycombe fan on the Man Utd thread yesterday

 

'Every kid who grew up in the UK from the early 90s until very recently, no matter their location, had United fans in their class group. Going on about their trophies and their good players. How they were a special, the Trafford 'More than a Club'.

United fans will accuse City fans and Chelsea fans of being plastic when they were one of the first clubs to hollow out football, corporatise it, sanitise it, turn it into the corporate driven shell it is now where their fans agonise over noodle deals and boast about their financial wealth through Ed Woodward like Trimalchio at his dinner. The hypocrisy of United fans moaning about Man City's atmosphere when 'prawn sandwich brigade' was coined to sum up their iPad-touting, selfie-stick supporters with their Selfridges bags is not unnoticed.

The last few years when winning has been a struggle has seen a kind of martyrdom from their supporters, as if their massive transfer fees not fully working give them some sort of sympathy. All this has done has turned them into slightly more obnoxious ***nal fans. The fact they've allied behind a manager whom had a meltdown live on TV after Steven Davies embarrassed his coterie of Russian-financed matrioshka dolls and a player whose outbursts have made him a meme for pudgy slightly racist 14 year old videogamers show their desperation.'

 

With a little follow-up from another fan:

 

'I thought this was supposed to be for fun...'

Haha yeah i saw that yesterday. Amazing. Its been copied onto the Boro one today with some slight details changed. haha

There was also this thread that made me laugh a good few times: