Boro V Bournemouth

Well after what can only be described as an absolutely catastrophic failure of my laptop earlier today, I've now had to rewrite this on my iPhone. So fairly fair to say it won't be as razmatazy (new word) as the badgers, but then again what is or ever will be!!

And so here it is...

Saturday 21st September 3pm

THE

MUST

WIN

MATCH

OF

THE

MONTH!!!!!

OR

SEASON!!!!!!!

NAY THE CENTURY!!!!!!

******** BORO vs BOURNEMOUTH ********

(Fireworks go off, marching band etc etc)

THE STORY/CRACK/CRAIC THUS FAR...

Boro so far have had an undisastrous, if not fairly underwhelming opening to the season, with draws against the big dogs of the league such as blackpool, wigan forrest and errr sheff wed all par for the course, with a few smatterings of defeat thrown in for good measure.

As previously mentioned this is a must win game if Middlesbrough are serious about not being evicted from the league for being utterly useless, and to stop people from dusting off their pitchforks and gathering books on coaching, man management, tactical astuteness and photos of the pop artist Plan B and building a giant, perennially confused looking, wicker man outside the riverside, ready to stuff Mogga in at full time on Saturday night.

THE LEEG FORM BOOK

Boro D,D,D,L,D,D,L,D,D,D,L,D,D - I jest of course, we couldn't go that many games without losing!!!!

Boro W,D,D,D,L,D

B'mouth L,W,L,W,L,W

and we thought we were up and down!!!!!

THE OPPO (Cockney rhyming slang for "opposition" don't ya know)

Bournemouth recently arrived from League 1 obscurity to take vengeance on those who haven't holidayed there (I have), comprehensively stuffing Wigan, Doncaster and Barnsley 1-0 in recent weeks. Aswell as taking a shafting from Huddersfield and Watford, 5-1 and 6-1 respectivelly.

So what can we take from this? Score first and they'll fall apart like dodgily prepared soufflé, let them score first and they'll shut up shop early like the Chinese near my house.

1 2 WATCH

Some dude called Toleko Rantie, rumour has it we wanted him but didn't get him and now he plays for Bournemouth, jokes on them however, his record is terrible, played for half an hour against Barnsley and couldn't even score, pfffft I'd rather have Scott macdonald!!!

TOP SCORERS BETWEEN THE TEAMS

Lewis Grabban (5)

Pugh/juke/Roberto friend (2)

A host of others (1)

THE LIKELY LADS

I'm not aware of any fresh injuries, however ledesma will be forced to sit out after, as sky sports put it, "going in through the back of Henri Lansbury" on Tuesday oooooo errrrrr

BORO ----------------- BOURNEMOUTH

Steele ------------------ Allsop

Richardson ----------- Francis

Woodgate -------------Ward

Williams --------------- Cook

Roberto friend ------- Daniels

Leadbitter ------------- Fraser

Whiteheeed ---------- Macdonald

Butterfield ------------- O'Kane

Emnes ----------------- Pugh

Adomah --------------- Grabban

Kamara ---------------- Rantie

THE MAN IN THE MIDDLE

Who cares they're all evil and out to get us, am I right!!!

THE NEWS

Other than the lib dem party conference, not much!!! However I will update as and when we have it.

RELEVANT POINTS FOR DISCUSSION

Should Henri Lansbury be allowed to live whilst he spells his name with an "I" ?

Have we ever played Bournemouth before?

Where in gods green field is hoyte?

Will we plug the holes in our defensive sieve?

Will kamara score a Hatrick?

How many times will we take the lead before being pegged back?

Why didn't Man U buy our ridiculous looking Belgian?

Will I finish typing and press "post" before eastenders starts?

Will batman and robin ever escape from the Jokers trap in time to save Gotham?

Find out next time, if Downsouth ever let's me do one of these again...

Taking a few of your points of discussion:

No, spelling his name with an I is dreadful. He should either die or change his name back to the properly spelt way, and then he can go onto the road of redemption

I reckon Hoyte is sitting on the training ground having a little sulk his dream move to Millwall failed to materialise.

Kamara will score a hatrick and then dye his beard another colour (I'm hoping for red)

Good effort HFLB though I have made a slight change of title lol!!

This is simply THE MOST IMPORTANT GAME OF THE SEASON SO FAR for loads of reasons and I am certain that most will agree with me FOR A CHANGE!!!!

That must have taken forever to type out on the iPhone...

This is such a big game for us, essential we start winning games sooner rather than later, a win will also relieve a bit of the pressure on Mowbray, which has been cranking up in recent weeks, but a defeat could see the pressure boil over into genuinely campaigning to see him sacked.

I reckon we will score at least 2, going for a comfortable win

That must have taken forever to type out on the iPhone...

 

This is such a big game for us, essential we start winning games sooner rather than later, a win will also relieve a bit of the pressure on Mowbray, which has been cranking up in recent weeks, but a defeat could see the pressure boil over into genuinely campaigning to see him sacked.

 

I reckon we will score at least 2, going for a comfortable win

Yeah I now have finger cramp!! Hopefully we'll draw so I don't have to go again!! ;)

I think we'll win but I doubt it'll be comfortable, that's just not boro's style. I'll go 2-0 with 10 minutes to go, they get one back to setup a nervy finish. 2-1 final score

I think the first goal, as mentioned, is crucial it seems once leading they park the bus really well. Of the 4 games on a previous thread I think this is the only one we will win 3-1. It's a must win as the next two I don't see any points from.

big game, home game -- we need a win...

looking at the form indication.. isnt it time for Bournemouth to lose :D

anyway, i'm always throwing my support for a boro victory, regardless of the opposition.

just like in an exam, i hope for 90 - i score 80 but when i hope for 70 - i score only 60... haha...

lets take a 3-0 lead... until 80s min

being boro, the opposition will come back..

ended up a 3-2 victory...

although i do hope for a cleansheet...

guess i cannot have the best of both worlds..

Respect for doing all that on an Iphone....

Agree that its the most important match of the season... I hope Boro go out to batter them!! Will post my team tomorrow when I've had a think - but my thoughts are Boro must go for a big score form the kick off..... Hopefully butter field is coming upto speed and will launch penetrating balls for Carayol, Bert, Kei and Emnes to run onto.....

btw - wtf is Henri Lansbury?

Most. Important. Game. EVER. It's a must win, even though it's still early in the season. We will concede no doubt, but let's hope we will score at least 2 goals again.

Should Henri Lansbury be allowed to live whilst he spells his name with an "I" ? Yes for now, but if he ever does the Bale "heart" celebration shoot him on sight.

Have we ever played Bournemouth before? Who are they, who are they?

Where in gods green field is hoyte? Sitting at home drinking a virgin daiquiri sobbing to a picture of his ex

Will we plug the holes in our defensive sieve? Never

Will kamara score a Hatrick? NO, but that doesn't matter when he instead creates a hattrick of assists

How many times will we take the lead before being pegged back? We'll fall behind before coming back to win it

Why didn't Man U buy our ridiculous looking Belgian? Because he had travelled back in time to the 80's to compete in a big Afro hairstyle competition in Compton

Will I finish typing and press "post" before eastenders starts? Probably not if you continued to come up with these questions

Will batman and robin ever escape from the Jokers trap in time to save Gotham? No, but they will put their differences aside and comence an epic menage et trois that will make the next movie starring and overweight Val Kilmer, malnourished Daniel Radcliffe and drunk supervillain Gerard Depardieu xrated, but all three will still win an Oscar

Rantie 10/3 anytime scorer and 9/1 first/last goal scorer. Seems like easy money the bookies don't know us very well.

if varga's fit would anyone else drop Whitehead?

Wouldn't drop Whitehead. He is going to be a star for us, but probably needs just a bit more gametime in the Championship to adjust.

I'm a fan but he's been really sloppy in posession and put the defence under pressure with short passes and having the ball took off him.

BoroDane.... It's not the 'Bale heart shape hands' celebration. It's the Kei Kamara celebration :) :d

BoroDane.... It's not the 'Bale heart shape hands' celebration. It's the Kei Kamara celebration :) :d

Still, it's a fruity celebration and I hate it.

In answer to the question have we played Bournemouth before - well of course we have a few times but can i refer you back to 15th of September 1987. We had played 6 league games previously and only got 7 points - not the best start. We played Bournemouth at home and won 3-0 with goals from Gary Hamilton (2) and Bernie Slaven in front of a crowd of just 9000. We went on a great run after that and were eventually promoted in a glorious playoff victory at Chelsea having finished third. The then captain Tony Mowbray had a great season.

Coincidence??